Something new...

So I've been thinking about this for a while now and trying to wrap my mind around EVERYTHING that goes into being healthy and what I can write about.... And I've decided to just start using you all who read as my tools, and have you as my "workout buddies" to hold me accountable! Everyone needs a workout buddy and everyone needs someone to push them harder and past their point of giving up. I NEED THIS THE MOST!!! Who's there with me? When it comes to getting all ready to go to the gym and sweat my balls off and feel like I did a lot of work and then see NO change... I'm just not all that quick to jump to it and get myself going! It takes a LOT of effort to get me there. However, knowing how much I pay in membership fees and my new shoes, I'm a bit more geared up to at least make an appearance!

Well here it goes, my first day at the gym, I met with a trainer to have an "assessment" of where I was physically and what I wanted to accomplish while I was a member. And also to talk me into having a trainer (which I ended up doing for a few sessions) and discuss the ways to get my end result and maintain it. He weighed me... which I knew was going to be more than what I see at home, because I was fully dressed with my OLD tennis shoes on which weighed at LEAST 5lbs.... or maybe just 5oz. ... I usually weigh nude right when I wake up, to see the smallest number, OF COURSE! Doesn't everyone do that??? So when he weighed me, I contemplated shutting my eyes, but then I figured I wanted some fire under my tooshie to get me ready to workout, so I looked..... 132!!!! I have been telling myself I never want to see a 3 in my weight unless it's the LAST number in my weight. And then he checked other numbers and measurements, but the one that kept resinating in my head was 132! 132! 132! And perhaps some of you out there think, "that's not bad!"... but really on my short 5'3" frame.... it's more than it needs to be and it all shows up in my FACE, my ARMS, and my LEGS! all the places noticeable! And I naturally have a BOOTY, so its always there too.

Now what was I going to do about this weight, this number, and the new gym membership?!??! well... sign up for a trainer of course, that's why I had an assessment right? To get me talked into a trainer. At first I thought, "ugh! why did I do this?!? He's going to KILL me!" But I tell you what, having a trainer, someone waiting for you, and an appointment/set time to get myself there REALLY helped me get excited and ready for the gym! It was a great TWO sessions (that's all I wanted to do for now) and then off on my own since. I burned and ached and flat out HURT after those training sessions, which I knew was good pain, so it was well worth my time, FOR SURE. But now how do we get those results just doing things on our own?!?!?!

So that's where I am at today, and I've been going to the gym about 4-5 days a week for a month now and I feel like I have a great workout routine while I'm there, I sweat a lot... BUT I haven't felt like I'm much smaller than when I started. It's a bit depressing and frustrating, to be honest. Now it's time to change what I eat, adjust my way of eating, and get myself just HEALTHY! It's SO easy to just snack with Londyn, my little-almost-two-year-old piece of AWESOME, but it's not quite what my body needs.

Now for suggestions. Recommendations. Meal plans. Grocery lists... anything from all of you!

I wonder.....

I wonder if someday she'll realize that...

getting her to tickle her teeth every morning and night regardless of the fight she gives me;

teaching her to share her toys even though she doesn't want to;

introducing new vegetables to her meal if she would rather have only strawberries;

making sure she asks nicely with 'please' and 'thank you' and not having a whiney, grumpy voice;

wiping her face clean after a messy dinner;

putting her shoes on her feet in order to go play outside no matter how eager she is to just get out the door;

saying 'hi' to others whenever they say 'hi' to you even though you'd rather hide your face and not say a word;

...has created the person that she is TODAY & TOMORROW.

Being a mom isn't easy & doesn't pay well, but, man, it's wonderful seeing how she's growing and learning and becoming such a wonderful little lady. Making sure to introduce her to new adventures, expand her vocabulary to it's fullest and finding out new things that get her to giggle til she gasps is what being a MOM is all about. 

Celebrating Mother's Day isn't just about going out to dinner at that ONE special restaurant or opening an expensive "#1 Mom" necklace. It's being able to celebrate what your hard work has accomplished each day... and appreciating every second you have with your child. 

I'm able to be the Mom that I am today because my Mom taught me how to love, teach, and be open-minded. Being patient, as good as I can be, and realizing that somethings take time but in the end it's ALL worth the wait. I'm excited for the day in the far away future that I'm able to see MY daughter be a MOM and teach her child all the wonderful attributes I've taught her.

Londyn Beckett, you make my heart smile...more and more every day. After ALL the whining and throwing fits and crying and hollering (& poopy diapers)... at the end of the day when I rock you to sleep and kiss you good night..... I can't wait for the morning to arrive to start all the whining and throwing fits and crying and hollering all over again! ....(but hold off on the poopy diapers) 

Being a Mom is about LOVE. not about STUFF. To all you mommies in the world, I wish you the happiest Mother's Day TODAY and EVERYDAY! Keep up the good work of LOVING your little ones and teaching them new, wonderful things everyday! They'll only allow you to teach them (or tell them what to do) for a short time... they'll be grown ups before we know it! 

585 days old...

She'll only be 585 days old for this day and this day only. 

Boy, do I love her.

See how much she loves her "My" and "Kiyee"?...

I love her that much and so much more.

In a rut...

Anyone else wake up with the SAME old routine everyday?! Anyone else have the same dinner schedule during the week? Anyone else go to the grocery store and grab the same things every time? Anyone else have the same reaction, same scrunched up nose, same sour expression when told something you don't like and don't want to hear? Anyone else know JUST how your husband will react after you tell him something HE doesn't want to hear? Or your child doesn't want to hear?

Well today I'm thinking SOMETHING has to change. SOMETHING needs to be shook up. I remember having the same thought, same reaction whenever Londyn would poop RIGHT AFTER I changed her wet diaper. And thinking, "UGH! I just changed you! WHY!?!" Or when she'd blow out her diaper and get it all over her clothing JUST after getting her dressed for the day. And how many times did I smile and think, "oh good, I bet you feel better now." NOT ONCE lol. I have a thought... Maybe today when she dirties her diaper for the 3rd time, she had THREE yesterday, I will sing a song to her and smile. Instead of thinking, "ugh another dirty diaper". Our negative reactions impact our kiddos. Maybe we don't notice the impact today, or even tomorrow, or even in a week. But down the road when I'm potty training Londyn to go poopy in the potty, will she have a negative reaction to this? Will she even WANT to go in the potty? It's been gross and annoying all this time, will she think that it's gross and annoying in the future? Changing diapers are not fun or what we WANT to do each day. But as a mommy, we signed up for this on our own! No one signed us up without us knowing... so let's enjoy these moments, even the not so fun ones.

Something else I might take into consideration.... Each day I wake up after Adam, he's the "early bird gets the worm kinda guy" (NOT me).... so I tend to come down and go straight to the coffee or straight to Londyn. He probably feels like I don't even see him. WELL....Tomorrow I will go to him, give him a kiss, and tell him I love him BEFORE I do ANYTHING else. Because that's what I want to do, I just don't do it. I get myself "in a rut" and the same old routine and I don't get myself out of it. We are in control of what we do and don't do... how we feel and how we react. Why not try every day to be as positive as possible and take each scenario as a chance to brighten our day, or even someone else's day. I wonder how my morning will go if I change just that ONE step in my morning process. I'm thinking my day might be a bit brighter and Adam might walk a bit taller when he goes off to work. He didn't get the same "good bye" kiss from the day before, he got the "good morning" AND the "good bye" kiss! He is such an amazing husband and father to Londyn, and I want to make sure he knows just how much I love him. I'll take every opportunity I have to tell him with kisses.

What will you change in your daily routine? What impact will it have on your day? How will it impact those in your life? What reaction will you get? Tell me your plan and then come back and tell me how it went!!! I'll let you know how tomorrow goes =)

Parenting a 16month old...

Sometimes I wonder... am I doing this "right"? Am I responding to my child the way that I "should" be? No one can really tell you a straight answer, which sometimes makes it more frustrating, because every child and every situation is different. I try to reflect, internally, after the incident is over, whatever it may have been, and see how I responded and how my child reacted... was it negative?... was it positive?... was it resolved quickly?... and, most importantly, do i feel good about the results?

I suppose each experience is a S T E P P I N G S T O N E... how cliche, right? However, if I'm taking each incident and moving forward from it, and making sure to learn as I go, then it is a stepping stone, onto the next level of doing this "right".

I'm constantly crafting and I have supplies out all over the place...CONSTANTLY. (ask my husband, he loves it...=)..) So with a 16month old you'd think that she'd have glue all over her hands, needles poking her daily, scissors cutting away her beautiful curls, or balls of yarn being strewn all over the house. When in fact, my mess is from me, not her, and she knows by now that mommy's things aren't for her to play with. Not because I've been a "mean mommy" and told her "no" a million times, because I try to say that as little as possible. I have taught her from the get go that this is what mommy gets to have and toys are what you get to have.

Don't get me wrong, she becomes quite curious and wants to pick things up... and when she picks up my scissors I've learned how I should react and get a positive response. Instead of FLIPPING out and yelling "no!", I watch her facial expression as she's picking them up, and I can see she's curious about what they do and she knows that she's not supposed to be picking them up. Then she sees that I see her and I say, as calmly as possible, "are those mommy's scissors?" and she responds with a nod of the head and she hands them back to me. If I were to react in a freaked out way, and said "NO!" and grabbed them from her hastily, I can only imagine how that would turn out... she'd run off with scissors in hand and probably trip over her own feet and we'd have a big crying fit or even worse, she'd hurt herself, and then scissors being ripped out of her hands and she cries more. If she doesn't know WHY she can't have them the next time she finds them she's going to grab them and run before you even see her.

So looking at those two scenarios, I ask myself, which one makes me feel GOOD? Well gee, seems pretty obvious. Strange how often I see moms doing the latter of the two scenarios and the child screaming and throwing a fit. We're given a choice to respond in a new way to see if something different from our last experience works better... Or do we continue to do the same thing and get the same reaction even if it was a negative reaction last time. We have so many opportunities to teach our children... why not take each one and give them the chance to learn!

I know that I'm not doing things "right" according to everyone or maybe not even according to anyone. But when I feel good after the situation subsides and my child is smiling and not screaming, I can walk away from that and think, "wow, that was smoother than I thought it'd be. & I know how to react the next time I'm faced with this situation." I figure if I can set good boundaries at her young age and get her to where she wants to learn from each situation rather than be ornery and run from each situation I can get a jump start on the bigger "issues" in the future.

Parenting a 16month old is full of surprises and each day holds something new. Let's take each day as a new day and be the best parent we can be. Start fresh tomorrow. Feel GOOD about what you're doing for your child!

Day Two...July 5th 2009...

Today is actually July 6th, I forgot to post yesterday. But I'll catch up.

For your entertainment...
...isn't it odd how you tell your girlfriends about dreams and goals you have. And almost always babies are brought up, whether you want them or don't, it always comes up. And if you do want babies then you always talk about names you like. Recently an aquintance of mine had a baby and I spoke to one of her friends about the new arrival and come to find out, she STOLE her baby name! Ladies out there, keep your future baby names a secret! They are on high demand and easily taken if you aren't careful.

To educate...
...houses are expensive in southern California. Choose one wisely.

To remember...
...yesterday was a gorgeous, relaxing day. Adam worked and got home around 10. We enjoyed breakfast together and then he slept til it was time to go meet up with the wonderful ex. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it was still not the best time. Hopefully the last time we have to talk to her or see her. Then it was Walmart time, it always amazes me the crowds that gather in walmart every day in southern California. They never disappoint, they are ALWAYS packed! They aren't like that back in Kansas. Then made it back home and took a nap. I woke up earlier than adam and I decided to make h0memade BBQ meatballs. They are SOOO good!! Our day was mostly uneventful but its always fun spending it with Adam.

Day one...July 4th, 2009...

Today is the fourth of july, also the beginning of my blog. I've decided to keep track of my life in California and my life being in love with my future husband. Also some reasoning for beginning this blog is to possibly entertain, to educate, and to remember.

For your entertainment...

...tonight the fellow AA members across the street from my apartment are shooting off fireworks and will probably end the night with the regular karaoke. It amazes me how many people seem to gather around that little yellow house, sitting on the porch, standing in the doorways, and hollering at passer bys. Adam and I joke about buying a six pack at Vons and leaving it on the front steps.

To educate...

...i'm hardly a teacher but I figure I am of an age that would possibly have some experience to share to young folks or just anyone who might not have the experiences I have had. Being 26 I have had relationships, some good and some bad. And obviously looking back now, I have taken from each of those relationships and learned from them. I'm amazed at the number of people I see on tv who have had failing relationships and that they decide to publicly announce that they are failing. I'm not sure about their situations but I can't imagine living my day anyway but to the fullest and happiest. If we aren't happy in a certain situation, why are we there? Why do we keep ourselves there? I'm not sure I completely understand people allowing themselves to struggle and not be happy. What if its your last day and on your last day you were sad or mad or depressed? At the end of your day if you aren't happy, why aren't you changing it? Why do we constantly put our happiness aside for others? Everyone deserves happiness, everyone deserves to be treated well and everyone deserves to be loved. I suppose my education for today is to simply smile. Be around someone that makes your heart smile. Share your life with someone who loves you for you. Make a change today so that you can be happy. You deserve it.

To remember...

...adam worked over the night, so he was home by 9:30 this morning. We enjoyed coffee and breakfast together and then headed to the Citadel. They had their annual July 4th sidewalk sale going on and we had a few things on our wishlist to take with us to Hawaii. It was a successful trip. We found flipflops for him (x2), ties for the groomsmen, flipflops for me, swimsuit for me, dress for me, and hoodie for him. And everything purchased was 50% off! Gotta love a sale! We also bought our flowergirl basket and ringbearer pillow. Checking things off our list every day. There are so many things that go into making a wedding day perfect. I'm so ready for our list to be done and to be able to enjoy our day. We also found a special item we may use for gifts for the wedding party. They are a favorite of mine these days, bought my first dogeared necklace just last week at Lake Arrowhead. I got the Faith one, its perfect reminder that anything is possible if you believe and have faith. They have so many great quotes and amazing prices...tons to chose from too. Heres my first favorite...